then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
