Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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