We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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