drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
