**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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