Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
