I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
