that's an acceptable place to lick
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Randomize
