Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Come on in and take your pants off
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