what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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