Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize