At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
