Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
