Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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