; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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