ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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