i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
