I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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