He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
