i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
