Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You have to summon your inner elephant
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*