Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle