All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
27 Hairstyles That Always Come With A Matching Personality
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..