Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
