i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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