Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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