You just made me feel so damn special
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
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