i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
