You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
