dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He kissed a someone with a penis
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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