eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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