i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
