Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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