She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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