Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
