The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
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