We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
