he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
