SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
