Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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