I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize