You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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