Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
