I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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