Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
