Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
