"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
