I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
