I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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