if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I bet he comes in French.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
