That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize