wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
