so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
