But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
