normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
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I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
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who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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