i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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