Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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