I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
