Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
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