I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
