I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize