where am i from again
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
